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Do it yourself! Compare my profile to the classical standard of beauty.

Note:
1. My ears are too high.
2. My forearms are too long, my upper arms too short.
3. I slouch from below my shoulders, rather than tilting charmingly from the neck.
4. My nose is too round and turned just slightly too far up.
5. I don't have the classical 'moss' patina.
6. My waist is much too low, my trunk too long, and my legs too short! Just look at that paunch, and the low flabby butt!

And you all wonder why my Germanic ancestors sacked, raped, and pillaged old Rome? I mean, talk about insecure!