You would think no. You may be right. First, make sure it isn't the SAME DAMN GUY. Ask your friends. I understand that's a thing that you women have, though again that's not my area of expertise. If not, make some friends. Have any of them dated him? If they have, chances are he's the SAME DAMN GUY, and he's just not that into you. If not, he MAY be into you. I speak from experience. I have been very VERY deeply into a number of women I never asked out. This is not an uncommon phenomenon among guys other than THE SAME DAMN GUY. Why? Why, you ask, would I not ask out these women? Please please PLEASE ask me why I did not ask out these women! Pretty please?
I'm glad you asked! When determining why a guy who is into you is not asking you out, consider the following.
Does he actually know you?
There are a lot of women in this world I don't know. Many of them I would probably enjoy dating. Some I would probably get 'into.' But I don't ask them out. Why? Because I don't know them. Meeting women is expensive and time-consuming for guys, and I don't know about you, but my job pretty much sucks most of my positive energy out of me with a pressure-milker and doesn't pay me nearly enough back in compensation. Maybe a happy bubbly woman would just be thrilled by the amount of customer service I have to provide on a daily basis, but it grinds me into dirt. Trust me, you do not see me at my best if you meet me at work. When I get home from this low-paying soul-sapping job I have neither the energy, the time, nor the money to attend salsa dance classes, hang out in bars, go to the opera, or sit alone in a tuxedo I do not own in high-class restaurants eating very slowly and trying my best to look lonely. Instead I commute straight home, not passing go, not collecting $200, throw myself on my bed and sleep for twelve hours until I have to get up and do it again. Sometimes I can manage to stop and see a movie on the way. Other times, I stop and eat out at some affordable restaurant like Perkins, but more often I end up at the grocery store. When my libido is particularly high I sometimes sit alone in public places wearing the trenchcoat I found in a dumpster, hoping some woman will stop by and say hi. These are the places you're liable to meet me, but I never see you there. Unless you're a waitress, but frankly I barely have the dough to afford to eat out, much less tip you the extra buck or two you have come to expect from guys who are into you, much less buy you flowers. The point is, I don't know you, and it's not because I don't want to, it's because I can't afford to. And, quite frankly, I'm not the only guy in this boat. As long as you insist on this whore-like payment for the service of being introduced to you, you will only meet the SAME DAMN GUY over and over. He's got money, time and energy to spare, and his pick of your ten best friends.
Are you going out with another guy?
Men tend to be territorial creatures. They don't like other men dating 'their' women. If you're a guy and you date a woman who is dating another guy you take your life in your hands. Men have killed other men for even LOOKING at 'their' women.After smiling sweetly at them and saying, "no I don't mind at all. You two have fun," through entirely unclenched teeth even. Sure, they may have gone to jail for it, but if you were the other guy, you were still just as dead. It may be 'healthy' for a guy to be dating several women, but not if any other guys are dating any of them. Then he's liable to wind up in the East River with his feet embedded in cement flotation devices. This is where mathematics comes in again. There aren't enough women for every man to be dating several exclusively.
Is this guy his best friend?
Friends may be less likely to kill you, but friends also know where you live.
Are you hanging out with a bunch of guys with which you appear to be having fun?
See above. YOU may know you're not dating any of these other guys, but I sure as heck couldn't tell from where I was sitting, especially given the looks on their faces. See above.
Are any of these guys particularly large, tough, and mean?
Let me rephrase that question.
Are any of these guys particularly big and cuddly like a bear with a cute little face just like a bloodhound and cute little scars all over their darling well-muscled chests?
See above.
If you are not hanging out with these guys, then are they sitting right next to you completely minding their own business, but nevertheless SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO YOU?
See above.
Do you carry a handgun, mace or other 'self-defense' product on your person visibly?
I speak for many of my fellow men who are not the SAME DAMN GUY when I say we find this sort of thing really intimidating. Remember, none of you dated us, because you were always dating the SAME DAMN GUY. He probably has figured out how to disarm you in .24 seconds using a toothpick and a banana, so he can afford to stroll right up and pop a dirty question or two. The rest of us find that stuff pretty damn intimidating. Some women say "no" with their lips. Others shoot first and ask questions never. It's not that we're afraid of "rejection' so much as "projectiles."
I do have to admit that a certain pair of authors was completely right when they mentioned that shyness isn't an excuse. I agree that you should never believe a man who says he's "just shy." I have never been "just shy." I have on the other hand been "scared half to death."
The point is there are many behaviors which tend to indicate to guys that you are either taken or not interested in someone as far down the food chain as them including charging for the service of introduction, surrounding yourself with scary amounts of protection, and never being in places most guys can afford to be. These serve the function of excluding everyone except THE SAME DAMN GUY. Unless this is the impression you intend to give to the rest of us, you might consider behaving differently.
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